Insecurity
by WerePuppy-Jake
Summary: THE Shego is insecure about a certain something. It is frustrating and down right depressing as it takes its toll on her. She decides to do something about her insecurity by solving THE problem that causes it. Will she succeed? Find it out yourself! KIGO
1. Wannabe Introduction

**New story.... This is a short.. kinda.. introduction.. chapter... **

**I don't own Kim Possible.. yada yada you know it.. XD**

**Enjoy!**

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**Insecurity**

_What is up with her today?_ Kim asked herself as she dodged another weak attempt of an attack. Shego didn't seem her usual self today. She was quiet, meaning no comments or snide remarks. She was slow and not concentrated, result a weak and pitiful fight. It couldn't even be called a fight. Kim dodged Shego's weak attempted attacks and she didn't even counterattack. She kept on dodging Shego's attacks with ease; she didn't put a lot of effort into it. Just like Shego who was not even trying to hit Kim. Her attacks didn't have any strength or speed behind them.

"What's up with you?" Kim asked deciding it was useless to fight any longer. Shego stopped her 'attack' and just gazed at Kim with a dull look.

"Nothing." She muttered even though she knew that Kim wouldn't believe it. The red head frowned deeply as she examined Shego's features. She looked like she had been neglecting her health and it was taking a toll on her looks and her body functions.

"Really, I know we're enemies but something is up." Kim replied and Shego just growled in response. She turned away, not wanting to face the smaller girl. Kim started walking up to her but came to a stop when she heard Drakken shout Shego's name.

"Got to go." Shego mumbled and she slowly walked off. It didn't look like walking; it was like something was dragging her body forward. Her shoulders hung, her head was down and she slowly disappeared out of sight. Kim felt a pang of sorrow in her chest as she watched Shego. She didn't go after Shego, knowing that it would be useless. She appeared physically beaten and neglected, it was down right depressing and heartbreaking. Something was wrong and Kim was going to find out what.

She dragged her current boyfriend, Ron, along and out of the lair. She caught a glimpse of Shego and Drakken escaping with the hovercraft. She sighed and beeped Wade for a ride back home. During their ride home Ron kept asking what was wrong. Kim kept answering that nothing was wrong because she didn't feel the need to share. She eventually made it clear that he was annoying her beyond limits. He stopped asking what was wrong and became quiet after mumbling a soft 'sorry'.

Normally Kim would've apologized for being so unkind. Yet she didn't and they said goodbye without a single apology from her side. She didn't feel bad for treating Ron like that. She had been honest and frankly she had something else on her mind. She didn't stop thinking about Shego and the possible situation the woman was in. She was determined to discover what was wrong and if possible she was going to help as well. The whole situation with Shego made her slightly depressed.

"What a day." She muttered as she entered her room. All she wanted to do was take a shower and get some sleep. She needed to think about the situation and sleeping always helped. So naturally she took a warm shower and went to bed. She wrapped herself in her cozy pink thick covers and cuddled her cuddle buddy close. Even her last thought, before she fell asleep, was about Shego.

Meanwhile at a hideout somewhere on an unknown island said woman shifted in her bed for what was probably the 100th time. She groaned loudly as she yet again shifted, rolling onto her back. She had been shifting and rolling around in her bed for about an hour now. The moment she went to bed she had been tired and mentally broken. Yet when she lowered herself on her bed her mind started wandering towards her current problem. It frustrated her beyond limits and rolling around wasn't helping in relaxing her. She was very tempted to just burn something within her reach. She couldn't take it anymore as she turned to her side with yet another groan.

"What the hell is wrong with me?!" She questioned herself loudly. A sigh followed her question; she knew exactly what was going on. She knew why she was frustrated and it was clear that it wasn't going to solve itself just like that. She had to do something; she knew what had to be done but she didn't know how. Apart from that, the current situation made her quite insecure. _Shego! For crying out loud! Me! A dangerous… bad… no EVIL, sexy, confident woman who can generate green plasma! I shouldn't be insecure! I've never been insecure!_ She scolded herself.

She rolled her eyes as she shifted yet again. She always ended up on her back, her hands behind her head as she stared up at her ceiling. She pondered about her situation and in some way it always made her mad. It frustrated her, made her insecure and to make it worse, the subject never left her mind. Throw that all together and you get a pissed off Shego.

"Oh damn it all to hell!" She yelled and she flung a small ball of plasma towards her wall. She watched how the small green ball disappeared as it hit the wall, leaving a small smoldering hole. A sudden knock on her door startled her slightly.

"What?" She questioned.

"Shego!? What was that!? It sounded like an explosion of some sort!" Drakken wined with his screechy voice.

"It was nothing! Go to bed!" She yelled back.

"Shego if something is wrong you can tell me. You know I like to think of us as one big evil family." Drakken said sounding less annoying. Shego sighed and even considered talking to him for a few seconds. She came to the conclusion that she shouldn't. He wouldn't understand and she wouldn't know what to say.

"I know but I don't have anything to share." Shego replied trying to sound at least a bit thankful.

"Okay well, goodnight then Shego." He said.

"Goodnight doc." Shego replied and she heard how he walked away, the footsteps fading gradually. She wasn't that desperate that she would talk to Drakken. She was close to being that desperate but she wasn't there yet. She felt like she had to solve the problem herself. _One chance and if it doesn't work you'll have to get over it._ She thought to herself. After rolling around in her bed, shifting from side to side for what seemed ages, she finally fell asleep.

She had promised herself to try and solve her problem. If that didn't work she just had to get over it. And even though it wouldn't be easy for her, solving the problem or getting over it, she was determined to do one of the two options. But first she was going to focus on solving the current situation. She didn't know how, where or when but she was going to give it a try. Giving up wasn't something she liked to do, so naturally she chose for the hard way first. It was all… or nothing…

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_Well now you're probably wondering.. (if you haven't figured it out yet) what the hell Shego's problem is!_

_tough luck XD_

_Hope you enjoyed this little scribbled attempt of a story.. !_


	2. It's all or nothing

**Next chapter!**

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**Insecurity 2**

_It's all or nothing._ Shego thought as she dragged herself out of bed. That was what she had thought right before she had fallen asleep. _All or nothing._ It repeated itself in her head over and over again. It reminded her of the problem she had to face sooner or later. The problem she didn't know how to solve. The problem that was keeping her awake, spoiling her appetite and was downright destroying her from the inside. She had to do something about it but she was too unfamiliar with the situation to know how to act.

She followed her daily routine of lounging, ignoring Drakken and listening to music. Life wasn't as interesting as it appeared to be. Even a criminal could be bored, even Shego, a master thief could be bored. Those moments always seemed to develop during Drakken's 'evil' speeches. She figured that it wasn't coincidence, it was just because the man was boring as hell. That was her final answer and nothing could change that.

"Are you almost done with your genius rambling?" She questioned in a dull voice.

"Uh yes yes, almost Shego." Drakken replied completely unaware of the fact that she wasn't interested at all. Her mind was somewhere else; as usual it wandered to her problem. That one thing she couldn't solve, that one thing that seemed to be on her mind 24/7. She let out a deep, slightly frustrated sigh and she just stared at the ground. Her employer finally finished his mini 'evil' speech and she didn't even notice it. A few months ago she would've noticed and she would've been relieved. Yet now she didn't make a single comment because she was so focused on her problem that she didn't notice a thing.

"Shego?" Drakken asked carefully. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at him with a slightly annoyed questioning look.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She was actually quite surprised that he even asked. Normally he would complain about her not paying any attention to him. Yet this time it was different, he seemed… concerned.

"Not really what's it to you?" She asked.

"Well if you need to take a break or something you can always go on a vacation." He offered. He just kept on surprising her, he never voluntarily offered her a break or vacation. She always had to force him by using violence but now he actually seemed to care. _This is unbelievable._ She thought as she eyed the blue scientist. _Maybe a vacation will do me good. I haven't been on one for ages. It could help me clear my mind a bit._ She actually reconsidered his offer and decided that it would be a good idea.

"I need a break." She said firm.

"Okay well then take one, I'm actually quite concerned about you." He replied.

"Thanks but I can handle it." Shego said and she walked off. She was already planning her vacation in her head as she walked away. She didn't even notice that she had actually thanked the man. Though it wasn't something she could ponder about at the moment. Her mind was too preoccupied by her problem and now her vacation. She actually felt a bit relieved knowing that she was going on a vacation. She decided that it didn't matter where if there's sun. Sunbathing is one of her favorite hobbies and lately she hadn't had the time for it. So looking forward to her vacation actually distracted her a bit.

"This was a very good idea." She mumbled as she turned to her stomach. She was currently working on her tan and she could feel herself relax more and more as she soaked in the sun's rays.

Meanwhile back in Middleton Kim was desperately searching for Shego. She had asked Wade if he could find her but he was having problems with that. It was almost as if she had vanished while she was simply on vacation. Kim had decided she wanted to talk to Shego but couldn't find her when she wanted to. That made her call Wade and he was now busy searching the pale woman. He hadn't questioned why Kim was searching her but he knew there was a good reason for it. He figured it had something to do with her good nature that made Kim worry.

"Have you found her yet?" Kim questioned as Wade busied himself with typing commands in his high-tech computer.

"Not yet, I'll tell you when I've found her. Just try to relax, I'll call you later okay?" Wade asked.

"Okay but please find her." Kim pleaded and the boy replied with a slight nod before he broke the connection. Kim waited and waited, she felt like a nervous wreck. She didn't even know why because she knew Wade would find Shego. There was no way that he wouldn't find her. Yet she remained nervous as she waited for Wade's call. She didn't even know what to do after getting Shego's current position. _Should I go to her? Should I wait? What should I say? What if she doesn't want to see me? Of course she doesn't want to see you! You're enemies!_ Kim's mind argued.

"Oh this is so the drama." She muttered as she let herself fall onto her bed. She almost jumped up when her phone started ringing. The sudden ring startled her slightly and she quickly snatched her phone from her nightstand.

"Hello?" She said.

"Hi KP it's me Ron." Ron sounded on the other end of the line. Kim closed her eyes and inwardly she groaned.

"What's up?" She asked trying to sound natural.

"Well I was wondering if we could meet today. Something doesn't feel right since yesterday and I just want to know what."

"I don't think I can make it today Ron." Kim replied.

"Oh, why is that?" He asked.

"I've got some business to take care of."

"Oh well it's not that important anyway. I just wanted to meet at Bueno Nacho." Hearing the name of the restaurant made Kim groan inwardly again. _I hate that place._ She thought.

"Sorry it's a no can do today." She apologized even though she didn't mean it.

"Okay well… talk to you later then?" Ron offered.

"Yeah talk to you later." Kim replied.

"Bye KP."

"Bye." And the line went dead. Kim tossed her phone aside and it landed on the plush rug she had in her room. _Come on Wade, what's taking you so long?_ She questioned. Her patience, or what patience she had left was quickly slipping away. The longer she waited, the more she wanted to talk to Shego. She had so many questions she wanted to ask the woman. Even though she knew that Shego probably wouldn't answer them she was still planning on asking them. _You never know. _She thought.

Her Kimmunicator beeped and with the speed of light she answered the call.

"Did you find her?" She asked quickly.

"Yeah I did, I found her on a small island just off-shore."

"Ride?" Kim asked sweetly.

"Already on it." He replied. Kim smiled widely at him and thanked him about 10 times in a row. The ride landed right in front of her door in about 5 minutes. She quickly boarded and took a seat as the mini jet took off. Her hands were sweaty, her heart was pounding and the nerves were playing up, even more then before. _Oh god… Oh god… This is SO the drama._ She thought as she looked out of the small window next to her seat. She watched the ground disappear and switch to water, nothing but water. _I'm really on my way to Shego. _She thought nervously. She kept fidgeting with her sweaty hands and hoped for some distraction but that never came.

She had never been this nervous before and to be honest it was killing her. The pilot announced that they were near the island and that it was time for her to jump. She nervously rose to her feet and got her parachute. She waited for the next sign from the pilot and she was gone. She jumped, falling down with high speed, racing towards the small island. She let out a soft grunt as she opened her parachute, slowing her down immensely. She slowly approached the ground and prepared herself for her landing.

The moment her feet touched the ground she detached her parachute. The bright yellow cloth landed in a heap behind her while she landed gracefully on her feet. She made quick work of finding Shego on the island. She started at the spot she suspected Shego to be. _The beach._ She thought as she set course towards the ocean. Seeing as it was an island the ocean surrounded the whole thing. Meaning she had to search the entire stroke of sand along the shore to find Shego. _Thank god it's a small island. _She thought as she started her small journey down the beach.

After about 30 minutes Kim came to a sudden stop. She saw a person lounging on a stretcher, soaking in the sun. She closed a bit more distance between her and the person and quickly noticed that the person wasn't wearing very much. Aside from a small bikini nothing else covered the woman's body. Her throat went dry; her palms were even sweatier then before. _Shego._ She thought as she noticed the green and black combination. _Okay Kim calm down, you can do this. _She said to herself as she approached the lounging woman. She came to a stop near Shego and looked at the peaceful looking woman.

"Shego?" Kim uttered just hard enough for her to hear. She quickly sat up and looked at Kim with wide eyes. A groan escaped her lips and she fell back on her stretcher.

"Just what I need." She muttered loud enough for Kim to hear. The red head looked at her with a questioning look.

"My problem follows me every where even when I'm on an island."

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_Hope you enjoyed this little piece! Now you sorta know what Shego's problem is... Kim.. but what more?_

_Discover it yourself!_

_thanks!_


	3. Bonding?

**Third chapter..**

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**Insecurity 3**

Kim blinked a few times as she gazed at Shego stupidly.

"What do you want Possible and why are you here?" Shego asked annoyed. Kim looked at her feet and shifted her left foot a bit. She didn't know what to say and avoided Shego's questioning gaze.

"Well?" Shego asked trying to remain calm. Kim kept shifting some sand around with her foot, her hands behind her back and her gaze down. She looked like a shy little girl who was waiting for something. _Okay Kim say something._ _She isn't happy to see you and staying quiet isn't making it better._ She told herself as she focused on the sand beneath her feet.

"I was worried." She managed to say. She looked up at Shego and actually saw a surprised look on the woman's face.

"You were worried? Why?" Shego asked.

"Well I thought you weren't doing so well. You looked tired and beaten and you didn't even try to fight me." Kim explained. Shego changed her position and sat on the edge of the stretcher. She eyed Kim suspiciously but it also appeared as if she was thinking. She seemed to ponder about something as she gazed at the red head, her problem. She had hoped she could forget her problem. That appeared to be impossible because the moment she stopped thinking about it her 'problem' appeared in real life. She wanted to groan in frustration and just kick the girl for looking for her. She pinched her nose bridge and closed her eyes as she went over her options.

She had chosen for the hard way and now she was confronted with her problem. Not whilst fighting and not during a mission just out in the open. She could confront Kim with what was bothering her. Yet she still didn't know what to say which made it harder to confront Kim. _I could tell her but I don't know what to say. _She thought as she refocused on Kim who was still looking at her curiously. She scooted over, making room on the stretcher and patted the space next to her.

"Sit down, I have to tell you something." Shego said and hesitantly Kim took the offered seat next to the pale woman. Shego had never thought about talking to Kim in a normal way. The only time she had done that was when she was turned into the friendly Miss Go. That didn't help her because she didn't remember a thing about that time.

"I have a problem." Shego started.

"Yeah I figured." Kim replied and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand. She looked at Shego with wide eyes who in return shot her a venomous look.

"Sorry, what's wrong?" Kim asked.

"You have to understand that talking to you isn't easy. You're my enemy and I hate your guts. Still I have to tell this because I feel that I might explode if I walk around with it any longer." Shego explained and Kim nodded in understanding.

"We're not friends or anything you just have to get this off of your chest." Kim replied.

"Exactly and if you even dare to laugh I'll burn your hair." Shego threatened and Kim nodded quickly. "I have a problem and it keeps coming back. I have no idea how I can deal with it. The longer I think about it the more frustrated I get. It's sucking the life out of me; it's downright depressing." Shego looked at Kim and the girl seemed to be listening intently. Inwardly she chuckled lightly at the sudden show of interest from the other girl. _Maybe there's hope._ She thought and she cleared her throat.

"There's this girl…" Shego started and she saw the sudden panic in Kim's eyes. "Yeah I'm in to girls, I'm not straight." She explained and Kim just stared at her in disbelief.

"Oh come on pumpkin! Did you really think that I was straight?" Shego questioned and Kim just slowly nodded as she looked at her with wide eyes. Shego rolled her eyes and just ignored the girl. _She'll get over the shock._ She thought.

"There's this girl and she has a boyfriend. I really hate that guy; I just want to kick him every time I see him. Apart from the fact that she has an annoying ugly boyfriend I really… uh…" Shego didn't finish her sentence, hesitating about the fact if she should tell it. She thought it made her look weak and vulnerable.

"Go on, please." Kim said softly.

"I really… really like her." Shego said and she sighed in relief.

"Then what's the problem apart from the fact that she has a boyfriend?" Kim asked.

"Well maybe the fact that she's as neat as a pin. She's straighter then a ruler and she doesn't even know I like her. I can't tell her and feeling like this really makes me feel weak. I am not a weak person so feeling weak really annoys me. It's frustrating and I can't sleep or eat at all." Shego explained.

"You've got it bad for this girl don't you?" Kim asked hoping she wouldn't piss Shego off.

"Yeah… I guess I do." She muttered in defeat.

"It's not that bad." Kim said and she patted her back in sympathy. Shego shot her a dirty yet questioning look and the red head pulled her hand back.

"Not that bad? NOT THAT BAD!? Princess it's killing me! I'm insecure! I feel vulnerable and weak! Three things I've never experienced before! I have no idea how I can handle this situation! I've been in this shit for months now! I just can't take it anymore!" Shego shouted and Kim cringed a bit at the sudden outburst. It surprised her that Shego didn't burst into green flames. Normally she would've ignited her plasma during an outburst like that but it didn't happen. It struck Kim that Shego really needed help with her problem.

She knew that Shego wasn't a person who had a lot of problems. Mostly because the woman knew how to deal with them. So it was a rare occasion that she didn't know how to handle it. Kim knew that as well and she would do anything to help Shego.

"So you're in love with her?" Kim asked and Shego nodded with a sad expression on her face.

"You don't know if she would love you too and she has a boyfriend so you don't know if she could be bisexual or gay." Kim noted.

"Exactly." Shego replied.

"You have no idea what to do?"

"Not a single clue."

"Have you been in love before?" Kim asked.

"No not really, just a crush but nothing as serious as this." Shego replied. Kim nodded in understanding and it became quiet. Shego stared at the ground, moving the sand between her toes. Kim just looked away not knowing what to say. The silence was quite uncomfortable as it dragged on. Shego finally decided that it had been quiet long enough.

"Have you ever really been in love?" She questioned and Kim looked at her in surprise. Her surprise quickly vanished and was replaced by a slightly saddened look. It made her think about Ron and how she had treated him. She had never really thought about the fact being in love. The question really made her think about love and it made her doubt her relationship with Ron.

"Princess?" Shego questioned seeing the sad look on the girl's face. Kim looked up at her with the same sad look still on her face.

"Everything okay?" Shego asked.

"I never really thought about it actually." Kim muttered softly.

"I thought that you and the buffoon…." Shego started but stopped her sentence when she saw Kim shaking her head.

"Not?" Shego questioned surprised.

"I never thought about being in love but now that you asked I realized I haven't been in love. I've had silly crushes but nothing more then that. I love Ron." She said.

"But?" Shego questioned.

"As a brother." Kim replied and Shego understood what she meant. Somewhere inside of her she smiled brightly at hearing the news. Hearing Kim admit that she didn't truly love Ron made Shego happy. It made her think that there was still a small chance. Though she reminded herself of the fact that Kim was still as neat as a pin.

"Sorry." Shego said suddenly and she surprised both Kim and herself with it. She hadn't really counted on something as emotional as this. She just felt that saying sorry fitted the current situation. Though she didn't plan on making a habit of it.

"It's okay, it's good I realized it." Kim replied and she smiled a sweet smile.

"So tell me about this girl." Kim said changing the subject, her smile turning into a naughty smile.

"I can't tell you much about her. She's just…. Great." Shego said in a dreamy voice. Kim just beamed happiness as she watched Shego's expression change. It was a whole new side of the woman and she loved it! Though she doubted if the woman would show that side more often. She wasn't even sure if Shego had wanted her to see that side at all.

"Well you seem happy, so what's the problem?" Kim asked.

"It solved itself partially but I still don't know how to confess what I feel." Shego admitted.

"How could it solve itself just like that?" Kim asked.

"I just realized something I hadn't seen before."

"Oh right… so do you want to tell her what you feel?"

"I guess… but I don't know how she'll react and I doubt it that she's not straight. I'll probably just make a fool out of myself by telling her." Shego muttered and her mood slipped away in an instant.

"Just tell her how you feel. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, if you're honest she'll understand. It's worth a try Shego." Kim explained. Shego smiled faintly and decided to give it a try anyway.

"Yeah you're right, I'll just give it a try." She replied and Kim just smiled at her. She hoped that Shego would really give it a try. She didn't like to see Shego unhappy and depressed. She knew she wasn't supposed to care but she did. She didn't know if it had anything to do with her heroic side but she didn't question it. It felt natural and she decided not to question it because it would only complicate things.

"As weird as this may sound I'm really glad we talked." Shego said and if Kim hadn't heard it herself she wouldn't have believed it. She never thought that Shego would be glad to talk to her. She didn't even know that Shego could be grateful for something, especially something like this.

"Don't get me wrong, we're still enemies but this really helped me." Shego said and Kim just laughed.

"I'll always help you." Kim announced suddenly.

"What did you just say?" Shego asked in shock, staring at the girl with wide eyes. Kim looked up at Shego and swallowed hard before she repeated herself.

"I said I'll always help you." And the just stared at each other in silence.

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_**DUNDUNDUUUUUN O_O haha okay.. sorry just had to do that XD**_

_**Hope you enjoyed this third chapter.. they bonded a bit.. Shego showed a side Kim hadn't seen before and.. well it went good right?**_

_**Now up to the next chapter !!**_


	4. Don't want to cry a single tear

_**Chapter 4 people**_

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_**Insecurity 4**_

The silence had been dragging on for what seemed ages. Kim stared at Shego wishing she could take back what she had said. Shego stared at Kim not believing what Kim had just announced. Their thoughts were the same. _Oh my god. _Kim started fidgeting, her nerves returning in tenfold. Shego just cleared her throat and finally broke their eye contact. She looked away, her gaze shifting towards the ocean. Kim's gaze just lowered to the ground and the uncomfortable silence kept dragging on.

They both wished for the silence to disappear but neither of them knew what to say. Result being that the silence continued without a single sign of communication. Suddenly Kim rose to her feet surprising Shego with the sudden action. The red head walked away without saying a single word. Shego just looked after her as she strolled down the beach.

"What the hell?" She questioned. Kim just kept on walking without looking back. Something had snapped inside of her and she just had to get away from Shego. It wasn't out of anger but because she was suddenly overwhelmed by emotions. She didn't know why but Shego's confession triggered something. She had to think about it because it all became very confusing all of a sudden.

After watching Kim walk away for several seconds Shego decided to go after her. She slowly got to her feet and started following the smaller girl. She didn't know why Kim stormed off like that but she was going to find out. She quickened her pace and closed the distance between them faster. _Damn that girl is fast._ She thought as she approached Kim. After what seemed ages Kim finally came within arm length. Shego reached out, grabbed Kim's arm and turned the red head around. Kim faced her with a sad, confused and angry expression on her face.

"What?" Kim snapped without a single reason.

"What's wrong with you? You just stormed off, why did you do that?" Shego asked not even knowing why she was asking. She didn't even know why she went after Kim.

"I…. I just.. got overwhelmed and I needed to think. I had to get away for a few seconds to do so." Kim explained. Shego's grip on Kim's arm weakened and the red head took the opportunity to free herself from her grip.

"What overwhelmed you?"

"Emotions." Kim answered simply.

"It was.. pretty intense." Shego admitted. It was one of the rare occasions that she opened up. To her it had been one of the most emotional moments ever. She figured that the red head had been through it all. Yet here she was, being proved wrong by the girl herself.

"Are you okay?"

"Not entirely." Kim answered.

"Hey I didn't want you to doubt you relationship with the buffoon okay? It wasn't what I was planning on or something." Shego explained and Kim nodded in understanding.

"I know and it's not even about Ron. I don't feel like this because of Ron." Kim replied and Shego was just downright confused at the moment.

"I don't get it, if it's not about the buffoon or me letting you doubt, what is it?" Shego asked.

"I don't know exactly but I just got overwhelmed. It was like something hit me but I don't know what it is yet. I still have to find out what hit me and I'm afraid that will take a while." That made sense to Shego because she had been in the same situation just months ago.

"I get it, I've been in the same situation." Shego replied.

"What did you do?"

"I went back to the moment it hit me. I searched and searched for what it could've been. Replayed the scene in my mind over and over again. I thought I was going crazy but eventually I discovered what hit me. I had been really blind because it had been in front of me the entire time. After that I got another problem and that's the problem I have to deal with at the moment. Though it already did solve itself partially." Shego answered and she avoided Kim's gaze after admitting that it had solved itself.

"Well I'm glad I could help." Kim said with a bright smile on her face.

"Yeah… uh.. thanks… for that.." Shego muttered unwillingly. Kim just beamed at hearing Shego thank her. She had never heard Shego saying thank you, especially not to her.

"Well I don't want to be a mood breaker or anything but I am on vacation. So if you could leave now I would appreciate it. I was on vacation to forget about my problem and you just had to come along and bring it with you." Shego announced, her mood changing from thankful to her usual self. Kim was quite surprised by the sudden change of her mood but reckoned Shego was right. She had probably ruined a part of the woman's vacation by coming.

"Sorry." Kim said and she pouted slightly. Shego waved the sorry off and started walking away.

"Yeah yeah, just get out of here. I won't do anything evil while I'm here. I'm just on vacation and you being here doesn't make it a vacation. Seeing as you are part of the job and everything." Shego announced while she increased the distance between them. Kim just watched after Shego as she walked away in her bikini. She had completely forgotten about the fact that the woman had been half-naked during their talk. She had been so close to her and hadn't even noticed it. _She looks good._ She thought as she watched Shego's backside.

She shook her head and mentally slapped herself for checking out Shego, a woman! Though it was the truth, Shego did look good in her black and green skimpy bikini.

"I have got to get out of here." Kim muttered to herself as Shego finally disappeared out of sight. She quite literally made a run for it while beeping Wade for a ride back home. She didn't know why she was running but she felt she needed to do so. The young genius she had beeped quickly arranged a ride back home for her and it appeared in less then 10 minutes. With a sigh she boarded the vehicle and she looked back one more time before the island disappeared out of her sight. Kim didn't know if she was relieved to be out of there or sad. She had a mixed feeling, combined with the unknown something that had hit her so hard back there. _Part of the job._ That little part replayed itself in her mind. She felt hurt but the reason for it remained unclear to her. She tried not to pay any attention to it and hoped the bad feeling would just go away.

Shego didn't feel any better at the moment. She had watched the small jet-like vehicle fly away knowing that Kim was on board. With a heavy heart she looked away and forced herself not to look back anymore. _Great… just great._ She thought as she sat down on her stretcher. She had wanted to enjoy her vacation but that seemed quite impossible now. She couldn't stop thinking about her problem and that was really cutting in on her relaxation time.

She lay back on the stretcher and resumed her tanning procedure. Though she didn't do it with an eased mind.

She eventually decided to cut her vacation short because she couldn't get Kim out of her mind. The whole goal had been forgetting the red head and it had failed miserably. She returned home, not wanting to stay at a hideout at the moment. She dropped her bags with a heavy sigh at her door and closed it behind her.

_Well it was great as long as it lasted._ Shego thought as she strolled into her living room. It was already late at night and even though she was tired she didn't feel like going to bed. She just plopped down on her couch and started flipping through channels on her TV. She wasn't paying attention to her TV at all it was just a desperate attempt to distract herself. A desperate attempt that failed just like her vacation. She groaned and threw the remote control to her TV.

_Screw this… I'm going to bed._ She thought and she dragged herself to her bedroom. Once in bed she lay awake as usual. _This is going to be a long night._ She thought as she turned onto her left side. She was going to snap; she could feel it growing inside of her. It wasn't anger, it was frustration and it was slowly driving her crazy. _'You've got it bad for this girl don't you?' _That question got replayed in her mind over and over again. She had looked at Kim and admitted it. Yet not in a happy way, she couldn't be happy.

"Why can't I be happy?" She questioned herself. She turned to her back and stared up at her ceiling. The room was slightly illuminated by the moon. She asked herself a question and she already knew the answer. _It's because you're a criminal and she's the hero. You don't deserve to be happy and you don't deserve love._ Her mind told her. It seemed harsh and it was but she couldn't help but believe it. She wasn't a naive person, she was fairly intelligent but she believed that she didn't deserve it.

"But I love her." She mumbled in a soft and sad voice. She turned to her right side, grabbed one of her pillows and clutched it tightly to her chest. She didn't cry, she couldn't, she didn't want to cry. It was nothing like her, she felt miserable but thought it was best not to show it. Even when she was on her own, she didn't show any weaknesses. Accepting the fact that happiness might not be a possibility for her wasn't even the hardest part. It was letting go of her problem; it was letting go of Kim that was killing her. Somewhere in her mind she knew Kim cared for her. The red head would've protested against the answer Shego's mind gave to her question. She probably would've said that everybody deserves to be happy and everybody deserves to be loved. Shego desperately wanted to believe it but she just couldn't. She could already hear Kim say it. _Everybody deserves happiness and love, even a criminal._ Kim's voice sounded clear in her head and she could picture the girl standing right in front of her. She closed her eyes and a single tear escaped, it rolled down her cheek and fell on her pillow.

"But not me." She muttered and she finally drifted into a deep sleep.

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_poor Shego.. even though she tried so hard not to cry... a single dammned tear escaped her eye. _

_Let's hope she'll be better the next chapter.. _

_thanks.._


	5. That's what hit me!

**Chapter 5 people**

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**Insecurity 5**

Kim woke up feeling even worse then the day before. With a tired groan is got out of bed and managed to dress herself. Being with Shego made her forget about the little mishap between her and Ron. Yet now she was fully aware of the fact that she had been ignoring him. Normally she would've felt bad about the whole situation. So it disturbed her slightly that she didn't seem to care at all. _I guess it really isn't love._ She thought as she descended the stairs.

Her mother had prepared breakfast and she poked at the food. She didn't feel hungry, she just felt bad. She felt guilty because Ron was probably stressing and she didn't feel a thing. _The poor guy, he probably thinks it's over._ She thought as she moved a strawberry around on her plate.

"Kim, how are you and Ronald doing?" Her mother asked as if she had been reading Kim's mind. The red head looked up at her mother with a surprised look. She wanted to say good, she wanted to tell her mother that nothing was going on but she couldn't.

"Not so good." She admitted and she lowered her head a bit.

"I figured." Her mother replied and Kim's head shot up again.

"How… what… why?" Kim asked in a row.

"I haven't seen Ron for the last couple of days. You haven't been out with him or anything. You don't even walk to school together anymore. So naturally I thought something was wrong. Believe it or not but you seemed happier." Ann explained.

"Happier?"

"Yes as if a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. Though now it seems as if it has returned in tenfold."

"I'm confused." Kim muttered and her mother just nodded in understanding.

"Go talk to him." Her mother said in a gentle tone. She placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder and smiled a warm smile at her.

"I don't know what to say." Kim complained.

"Do what's best Kim. You're not happy with him and making him believe you are isn't right." Kim just gaped at her mother with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open. She had never expected her mother to know anything about what was going on in her life_. I guess I underestimated her. _Kim thought.

"Go on." Her mother urged.

"Okay, I'm going." Kim said firm. She thanked her mother and was gone in less then 10 seconds. She walked down the street heading for Ron's house. She didn't even know if he was home but she knew he rarely went out. She walked up to his front door and knocked. It remained quiet for a few moments before she heard someone stumbling down the stairs. _He's home._ Was her first thought. The door opened and revealed a blushing Ron.

"KP!" He shouted and he pulled her into a hug.

"Ron." She said a bit too cold. He stepped back and looked at her with a questioning look.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Can I come in?" She asked and he nodded. He stepped aside, making room for her and closed the door behind him before he followed her to the living room. She took a seat on the couch and he sat down beside her with the same questioning look on his face. _This is going to sound very cliché. _She thought.

"We need to talk." She said monotone. Saying that made people aware of the fact that bad news was coming up. Even Ron, a slow and unintelligent guy knew what it meant. His questioning expression quickly changed into a sad one. He already assumed the worst after hearing those 4 words.

"Is it about me being annoying? I can change, I didn't mean to be annoying." He started but Kim shook her head.

"It's not that, you're annoying, yes. That's something I can handle, I've learned to look passed that." Kim explained.

"Then what is it? What did I do wrong?" He asked sadly. Kim wanted to say it wasn't him but her. She knew it sounded cliché but it was the truth. She decided against it and thought of another way to break the news.

"I think you're a wonderful guy Ron. Really I do, you've been my best friend for ages."

"That's not good?"

"It is, it's wonderful it really is. I just…. I… in a relationship there's love. I love you, I do. Just not in a way that can keep up this relationship. You're like my brother and I've realized I feel nothing more then that."

"I understand." He answered and he looked down at the ground.

"I know it hurts you but I couldn't keep doing this. My mom told me that she saw that I wasn't happy. I want you to be happy but making you believe I am isn't right."

"How did you discover it?" He asked suddenly and Kim shot him a confused look. "How did you discover that you love me like a brother?"

"Well I just realized after a talk I had. I didn't plan for it to happen but it did. Something struck me and I don't know what but I realized that I've never really been in love." Kim explained.

"It was Shego wasn't it?" Ron asked dull. Kim's eyebrows shot up at that question and Ron just kept looking at her with a hurt expression.

"Yeah… it was." Her gaze shifting to the ground as she admitted. Ron let himself fall back against the couch and he just stared up at the ceiling.

"Do you love her?" He asked and Kim's head shot up at that question. Her eyes were wide and she stared at him with her mouth open.

"W-what?" She stuttered.

"Do you love her?" He repeated.

"N-no.. wh-what gave you the idea.. that I could possibly… l-love…." Kim started to stutter but she stopped. Her eyes went wide and she turned to look at Ron. "Love… Shego." She whispered. It became quiet and they just stared at each other.

"I… I've got to go." Kim muttered and she quickly raced off. Ron just stared after her as she almost ran to the front door.

"So it's over?!" He yelled after her but it was too late. The door slammed shut and she was gone. She quickly walked back home, her hand against her forehead. She was in shock, she hadn't even realized she had been developing a certain feeling for the green criminal. She ran up to her front door and ran into her house.

"How did it go honey?" Her mother asked but she ignored the question and disappeared up the stairs. Her mother let out a sigh assuming the worst after seeing Kim's reaction. What she didn't know was that the red head was in shock. She didn't feel bad or sad; she felt weird and in some way relieved. She let herself fall onto her bed and she just stared up at her ceiling. It had never struck her that she might be into women. It hadn't been an option for her because she felt it would ruin her reputation as hero.

Yet the more she thought about it the more it made sense. All her relationships and little crushes and dates with boys had been horrible. She realized that she had never really been happy at all. _Shego was right. It was right in front of my nose and I didn't even notice it._ Kim thought.

"Can I really love her?" Kim questioned herself out loud. _No you're a hero she's the opposite. It's wrong._ Her mind immediately protested. She frowned a bit at her own thoughts.

"That seems unreasonable but she's already in love." She said reminding her of the fact that Shego was head over heels for some girl. She hated that girl right now. She hadn't really admitted to herself that she was in love with Shego but nonetheless she hated the unknown girl. Kim wasn't a girl who carried a lot of hate with her. There were exceptions like Bonnie but she never really hated anything. This was the first time she actually hated somebody without knowing the person. _It's jealousy._ She thought and that made it even worse.

She groaned and got off of her bed. _I need to talk to mum._ She thought and she went downstairs. Her mother was sitting in the living room and she looked up from her magazine when Kim came walking in.

"Didn't go so well did it?" Her mother asked.

"It went well, he understood." Kim replied. Her mother closed the magazine she was reading and put it aside.

"What's with the long face if it went well?" Ann asked in confusion. _Teenagers they need a manual._ She thought.

"Mum is it possible for somebody to love a person who's the complete opposite of yourself?" Kim asked taking a seat on the couch.

"Of course it is, you can't plan who you fall in love with Kimmie. It just happens and sometimes it seems a bad match but in reality it can be a perfect match. Never heard of the phrase opposites attract?" Ann questioned.

"I have but I just assumed that it wasn't true." Her mother snorted at that answer.

"What?" Kim asked.

"Are you telling me that Ron isn't the complete opposite of you?" She asked as she giggled a bit. Kim remained quiet because she knew her mother was right.

"Honey Ron is the complete opposite of you. He isn't very bright; he's naive and clumsy. Look at you! You have top grades, you save the world and you never, never trip over your own shoelace or pants." Ann explained as she tried to stop herself from laughing. Kim had to admit that her mother was right about Ron and she couldn't help but laugh. They shared a good laugh together before everything became serious again.

"I'm just saying honey, consider it. Your heart and mind will tell you two completely different things. You just have to know which advice is best to follow." Kim nodded in understanding and figured that she hadn't thought about it enough.

"What if this person is already in love?" Kim asked and her mother gave her a thoughtful look.

"Has this person told you who it is?" Her mother asked and Kim shook her head. "Then how do you know this person isn't talking about you?" Kim was stunned and her mother just grinned at her.

"I never thought about that." Kim muttered as she stared with wide eyes. She quickly stood up startling her mother slightly with the sudden move. She ran a shaking hand through her hair and just headed for the front door.

"Where are you going!?" Her mother yelled after her.

"I've got to talk to Shego." Kim mumbled inaudible and she slammed the front door shut behind her. Her heart was racing, her palms were sweaty and her nerves got worse as she approached Shego's house. She reminded herself that she had to thank Wade for finding Shego's house. Without him she wouldn't have known where to begin. The possibility that Shego had been talking about her never entered her mind. She never even thought that Shego might be interested in her. It just seemed an impossible situation. _Criminal and hero, good and evil. _Kim thought as she approached Shego's house. She fought her nerves and forced herself to walk up to the pale woman's front door. After a small 'you can do it' speech she managed to ring the doorbell. She readied herself to confront Shego about who she loved. She heard somebody at the other side of the door and took a deep breath as it opened.

Her eyes went wide and she never exhaled the deep breath she had taken. Standing in front of her wasn't the person she expected. It wasn't Shego, it was a tall girl with brown hair and caramel colored eyes. _This is a mistake._ Kim thought as she eyed the girl. _This has to be the wrong house._ She was wrong because at that moment Shego appeared in the door opening as well. Kim felt tears in her eyes as she looked at the two. _She wasn't talking about me. She was talking about her._

Kim turned away in the hope she could hide her tears. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked back at its owner. Shego looked at her with a look that was filled with concern.

"Princess." Shego uttered and Kim stormed off tearing herself away from Shego's grip.

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_Yes they broke up.. just to be clear XD _

_Now! WHO THE HELL IS THAT GIRL WITH THE BROWN HAIR AND CARAMEL COLORED EYES?!.. you have no idea.. I do.. but I'm not telling!_

_Hope you enjoyed this chapter.. !_


	6. Why?

**Chapter 6.. read.. and enjoy!**

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**Insecurity 6**

"Kim!" Shego shouted. Kim heard Shego calling her but she kept walking. She wrapped her arms around herself and kept up a steady pace. She forced herself not to cry as she walked away.

"Kim wait!" Shego shouted. The red head ignored her calls and just kept on going. She scolded herself for thinking that Shego might be interested in her. She hadn't even fully admitted it to herself that she liked the woman and she already felt heartbroken. _That's what you get for falling for a criminal._ Her mind spoke and she shook her head.

"It's not like that." She argued softly as a fresh set of tears appeared in her eyes. Shego just looked after Kim, watching how she disappeared out of sight. The moment Kim disappeared out of sight she felt she had made a mistake. _I should've gone after her. _She thought as she turned to face the girl in her doorway. She looked at the young woman, her brown hair falling elegantly down her shoulders, her caramel eyes almost shining as she looked back at Shego. _Not the eyes I fell for._ With a sigh Shego went back inside dragging the brunette with her.

She closed the door and leaned against it.

"What's wrong with you?" The brunette asked.

"Lizzie.. not now.. okay?" Shego muttered as she let herself slide to the ground. She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her hands. Lizzie just raised an eyebrow and shot Shego a dirty look. Shego didn't notice it; she was busy scolding herself.

"Come on Sheeg, weren't we in the middle of something?" Lizzie asked suggestively. Shego looked up at her and couldn't help but roll her eyes. She got to her feet and dragged herself to her living room. She wasn't up for anything, she just wanted to sit on her couch and scold herself. Her change in behavior made Lizzie curious and she hopped into the living room as well. The girl was too excited for her own good, it really annoyed Shego. She didn't like jumpy energetic girls; she wanted a calm girl who could be energetic at the right times.

"What's wrong?" She asked in a child-like voice.

"I think it's best if you leave." Shego stated and Lizzie just stared at her in shock.

"Why?"

"I don't feel so good, I need time for my own." Shego muttered and she sunk even deeper on her couch.

"Who was that girl?" Lizzie asked and Shego just stared straight ahead.

"That was probably the love of my life." Shego replied monotone.

"I'll go." Lizzie announced getting up and she left without another word. Shego didn't say a thing and didn't even watch the girl leave. She was caught up in her own mind, wondering why she hadn't gone after Kim. Thinking that it was already too late to tell her she was sorry. She knew it must've given Kim a bad impression seeing her and Lizzie.

"God why didn't I just tell her that I love her?!" Shego questioned herself angrily. She wasn't into Lizzie, not even the slightest. It had been another attempt to get over Kim or forget her. Why they all kept failing was beyond Shego. She didn't know why she couldn't get over the girl. It was like everything was against her when it came to getting over Kim. As if she was being forced into telling her true feelings.

"I have to tell her what I feel." Shego announced suddenly. Yet she didn't make a single move. She knew she had to tell Kim everything but she didn't know how. She wanted to confess everything but she had never really been good in expressing her emotions.

Meanwhile Kim had run her way back home, her tears never stopped running. She had left her parents in a worried state after rushing up the stairs without saying anything at all. They wanted to know what was wrong but decided against asking. Ann had told James that Kim was having problems with love and he immediately asked if he had to send somebody to a black hole. Normally that would've been an amusing scene but the concern about their daughter took away the amusement.

The tears had finally stopped flowing but Kim didn't feel better. She had never felt so hurt in her entire life. Though she found it odd that she was so hurt. The day wasn't over yet and she had already broken up with Ron, discovered that she was into women and especially Shego and she was heartbroken. She didn't even know why because she hadn't even admitted her love. Yet seeing Shego and that other girl triggered something. Though the more she thought about it the more she felt something was wrong. The reason she was heartbroken didn't even seem logic.

_She didn't promise me anything and I just got my hopes up._ She thought as she crawled underneath the covers of her bed. She snuggled into her covers and just looked towards her window. She grabbed her pandaroo even though she knew it wasn't going to give her much comfort. She felt the need to hug something and it had always been there to be hugged.

"At least you won't hurt me." She whispered against the stuffed animal. A soft knock was heard on her door and Kim just let out a sigh.

"Kimmie?" Her mother's voice sounded through the door.

"What is it?" Kim asked.

"Are you okay?" Her mother asked even though she already knew the answer.

"No not really." Kim answered.

"What happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Came as a slightly muffled reply from the other side of the door. Her mother closed her eyes and let out a sigh. She understood that her daughter didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted to help and she knew talking always helped a lot. Either way she decided to just let it go. Kim didn't want to talk and she wasn't going to force her. _She's not ready yet._ She thought.

"I understand." She said and she went downstairs leaving Kim alone again. Kim listened as the footsteps faded and she automatically squeezed her pandaroo tighter against her.

"I'm alone." She whispered. She felt like crying again but she didn't. She forced the tears away knowing that crying wasn't any use. She came to the conclusion that she overreacted. Though she still felt hurt because of the whole situation.

On the other side of town Shego didn't feel any better. She was still having doubts about confessing her love to Kim. She felt that she had to do so but something was stopping her. She didn't know what it was but something told her to wait. So there she was once again shifting and rolling around in her bed. Unable to sleep and unable to stop thinking about Kim. She even wondered if the red head was thinking about her as well. She hadn't even wondered why Kim had stopped by.

She shot up straight in her bed, her eyes wide.

"She stopped by!" She shouted. "Why?!" She questioned herself. She moved quickly, getting out of bed. Her fast movement made her get caught in her covers and she fell off of her bed, face down on the ground.

"Fuck." She muttered as she tried to untangle herself from her covers. The thing seemed to be wrapped around her legs like an anaconda and it was just pissing her off. She groaned loudly and literally burned her covers to free herself.

"Goddamned covers." She muttered as she got to her feet. She quickly threw her hair out of her face and almost ran to her closet. She snatched her suit from the top shelf, almost shredded her nightwear from her body and literally jumped into her suit. She zipped it up with the micro zipper and quickly got her boots.

"I'm such an idiot." She muttered as she busied herself with her boots. She quickly zipped those up as well and almost left without her gloves. _Got to have them with me._ She thought as she slid them on. She left her house in top speed, slamming her door shut and running off in the direction of Kim's house. She didn't stop, not even for a second, she kept running. By the time she reached Kim's house she was out of breath. Even she, a well-trained top thief was out of breath after running for so long.

"Gotta work on my stamina." She huffed as she tried to regain her normal breathing. She walked around the back of the house and looked up at Kim's bedroom window_. Hell no, I'm not climbing up there._ She thought and she walked back to the front door. _Can break a freaking leg while climbing up to that freaking window._ She reached into her ankle pouch and pulled a lock picking set out of it.

"This will do just fine." She muttered to herself. She was about to start on the lock but realized she hadn't checked for people. _Beginners mistake._ She scolded and slowly walked up to the large window that showed the living room. She ducked low and peered inside seeing nothing but darkness and emptiness.

"Perfect." She whispered she turned to sneak away but her foot got caught and she yet again fell flat on her face. It had been the second time that night and it was really pissing her off. She groaned again and resisted the urge to blow the place up. "Freaking things that make me trip, freaking almost broke my nose for the second time today." She muttered as she picked herself up from the ground. She regained her normal bad ass posture and quickly started working on the front door lock. She unlocked it in a matter of seconds but noticed that only a skilled person could do so. With a grin she entered the house and she had to resist the urge to pat herself on the back. _Hell yeah I broke into their house. _She thought as she quietly shut the door behind her. She softly walked up the stairs and headed straight for Kim's room. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as she reached for the doorknob. As quiet as she could she turned it and entered Kim's room. _I'm on a role tonight!_ She cheered and she closed the door behind her.

She stopped in her tracks as her eyes fell upon the smaller sleeping girl. A small even genuine smile appeared on her face and she slowly approached the bed. She reached out when Kim came within arm length and she lightly shook the girl. A tired groan was heard and Kim flipped over to her other side. Shego rolled her eyes and just shook the girl again only harder.

"Wake up." She urged.

"No mom it's still dark." Kim mumbled her voice thick with sleep.

"Princess." Shego uttered softly knowing that would wake the girl. It did, Kim's eyes popped open at the sound of Shego's voice and she quickly sat up. She gaped at the woman who was standing right in front of her, though it was hard to see in the dark.

"Wh-what are y-you doing here?" Kim stuttered as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"I made a mistake today." Shego admitted softly.

"What are you talking about?" Kim asked fully awake now.

"You know what I'm talking about." Shego took a seat on Kim's bed and she looked at the girl. She couldn't see Kim's expression, even with her trained eyes but she knew the girl had a questioning look on her face.

"You stopped by at my house and Lizzie opened the door. I appeared as well and you ran off crying, I didn't go after you." Shego explained. She heard a sniff and she lit her hand to discover that tears were rolling down Kim's cheeks.

"P-princess? Are you okay?" Shego asked in shock.

"Who is she?" Kim asked.

"That was Lizzie and she's not my girlfriend or anything I just… tried to forget." Shego whispered the last part.

"I don't care who she is…. I want to know.. who do you love?" Kim whispered in return. Shego remained quiet and she just avoided Kim's gaze. Her plasma died out and everything became dark in an instant.

"Shego." Kim whispered, she reached out and touched Shego's cheek. She cupped her cheek and was surprised when she felt something wet on her hand. _Is she crying?!_ She questioned herself in a panicked state. She had never thought that Shego would cry or even could cry. She felt a lump in her throat and she brought her other hand up to Shego's other cheek.

"Please, answer me." She said softly as she held Shego's head in her hands.

"I tried to forget, I tried to get rid of these feelings but I couldn't. They stayed and it irritated and frustrated me beyond limits. I couldn't, no I didn't know what I could do. It seemed wrong and I told myself it was, I told myself that I wasn't meant to be happy." Shego muttered and she felt pathetic. Here she was blubbering all over Kim about her feelings. It made her feel pathetic and weak, she hated it. She pulled away from Kim's hands and quickly got to her feet.

"This is pathetic." She uttered and Kim quickly got to her feet as well.

"No, no what are you talking about?"

"I feel pathetic." Came as a reply and Kim couldn't help but pout a bit. Shego made her way to Kim's window and opened it.

"I shouldn't have come." She said and she disappeared through the window leaving Kim behind, staring at the open window.

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_Well... that didn't go very well now did it? Mmm.. strange.. well.. better luck next time right?_

_Hahahah! hope you enjoyed!_


	7. Finding happiness!

**Enjoy!**

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**Insecurity 7**

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Shego muttered as she walked back to her house. The streets were empty, it was cold and everything was dark. She walked alone through the streets muttering to herself

"I should've never stopped by." She muttered as she crossed an empty road. _I didn't even know what to say and the things I did say made me sound pathetic. _She thought and she folded her arms in front of her chest as she kept on walking. She had gone to Kim's house filled with confidence. Yet the moment she saw the girl her confidence slipped away and she couldn't help but mumble what she felt. Or well she tried to mumble what she feels but it didn't really work out.

"God I made a fool out of myself." Little did she know that she hadn't made a fool out of herself. Her words touched Kim and the red head felt compelled to help Shego. She had wanted to talk to the woman and was glad with the opportunity. Though it disappointed her that Shego left in such a hurry. She didn't even give Kim the time to explain what was going on. Kim had stared at the open window; she even walked up to it and gazed out side. Shego had already disappeared out of sight and with a sigh she had closed her window.

She was lying in her bed, still awake and staring up at her ceiling. Shego was still on her mind and she wondered why she had left in such a hurry. _This is pathetic._ Those three little words played in her mind. She knew Shego wasn't good with emotions but she hadn't thought she was pathetic. Kim felt a strong urge to just hug Shego at the moment. She had held Shego's face that night, tears falling on her hands. She didn't see the tears but she felt them. She figured that crying was what made Shego feel pathetic.

"She isn't used to it." Kim muttered to herself. The red head had enough experience with crying and showing her emotions. She had a hard time controlling them sometimes and she just couldn't help but show how she was feeling. It didn't matter to her, happiness, sorrow, and regret she showed it all. _It would ruin Shego's reputation._ She thought. She could understand that Shego's bad ass image would be quite ruined if the villain just cried openly. Though she would never tell anyone about the tears Shego had openly cried in her presence.

She was actually glad the villain had cried. It showed her yet another side of Shego she had never seen. She didn't even know that side existed. _Closed off._ Kim thought as she turned to look at her window. She eventually fell asleep but that couldn't be said for Shego.

The pale woman was still awake, scolding herself for her foolish actions. She wasn't awake because she wasn't sleepy, not at all, she felt like she could go into a coma. She was awake because she couldn't help but think that she had made the wrong choice. _I shouldn't have left. _Was what bothered her over and over again. She even thought about going back to Kim's house but reasoned with the fact that it was late. _She doesn't want to talk to me after that. _She thought and she frowned slightly.

"Ugh get it out of your head Shego." She muttered to herself as she turned to her left side. She tried to force herself into sleeping but she stayed awake the entire night while Kim slept peacefully. She just couldn't fall asleep no matter how tired she was. _I'm going to feel this tomorrow._ She thought as she got out of bed. She figured it was no use lying in bed if she couldn't sleep. She already knew that she would be tired the next day, knowing that even though she was a skilled thief, she needed sleep as well. The morning came quickly, the sun rising fast and lighting everything.

Shego glanced out of her window and just rolled her eyes.

"Great… morning daylight." She muttered and her eyes shifted back to her TV. She had flipped through every single channel on her TV and all of them had nothing to show. So naturally she decided to watch a movie and by now she was busy watching her 6th movie. It was some sappy romantic love movie, which she didn't even know she had. It was a nice change because the first 5 movies had been action; horror and thriller packed movies.

It was around 10 o'clock in the morning when Kim woke up. The sun was slightly peering through her curtains and urging her to wake up. She stretched her arms and let out a yawn.

"Is it morning already?" She questioned herself in a sleepy voice while she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. _Morning?_ She thought when she was finally able to fully open her eyes.

"Morning!" She shouted in shock and she quickly got out of bed. Her foot got caught in her covers and she caught herself just in time before she fell. _That was a close one._ She thought as she gently pulled herself free from her covers. As soon as her foot was freed she ran into her bathroom and jumped into the shower. She hadn't fully planned it yet but she was going to confront Shego today even if it was the last thing she did. She couldn't take it anymore; she just had to talk with Shego.

She took a shower in the speed of light and dressed herself in a blink of an eye. _Gotta hurry._ She thought as she almost jumped down the stairs to eat her breakfast. Her parents gave her curious and questioning looks as she shoved her breakfast into her mouth. She just looked at them with big innocent eyes while she chewed her food.

"What?" She asked with her mouth still full.

"Are you okay?" Her mother asked and Kim nodded in reply. She quickly finished her breakfast, thanked her parents and went upstairs. She dried her hair with the hairdryer and quickly did her now dry hair. Normally it would've taken her an hour to get ready. She broke her record by finishing up in a matter of 15 minutes. With a proud smirk on her face she went downstairs and got her coat.

"Where are you going honey?" Ann asked.

"I'm going to Shego." She replied and she was gone. Her mother just stared at the front door in disbelieve thinking she had heard it wrong.

"Did she say Shego?" Ann asked her husband and he simply nodded, the same disbelieving expression on his face.

Kim was on her way to Shego, her pace fast and steady. _If that bimbo is there again I'm going to kick her out._ She thought as she walked in the direction of Shego's house. She felt confident and she was determined to tell what she feels. She wasn't going to panic and she wasn't going to chicken out.

"I'm going to do it god damn it!" She shouted and people just stared at her as if she had grown a second head.

"Sorry." She mumbled her face turning bright red as she quickly walked away. _That was embarrassing._ She thought as she approached her wanted destination. She came to a stop in front of Shego's door and took a few deep breaths. _Okay you can do this._ She told herself. She rang the doorbell and waited in silence for a response.

Inside Shego was lightly slumbering, close to the edge of falling asleep when the doorbell startled her. _For crying out loud._ She thought as she got up. _Who the hell dares to ring my doorbell in the morning?! _She quickly walked up to the door and started unlocking it. Outside Kim swallowed nervously when she heard the locks being unlocked.

"What the hell…." Shego started as she opened the door angrily. She stopped in her sentence when her eyes fell upon Kim.

"Do I want?" Kim offered and Shego just looked at her dumbstruck.

"Uh yeah.. what.. are you doing here?" Shego managed to ask as she came over her shock.

"I'm here because we need to talk." Shego's face fell at hearing that sentence.

"We.. need to talk…" She muttered.

"Not in a bad way!" Kim quickly replied. Shego stepped aside and motioned for Kim to come in. The red head smiled at her and stepped into her house.

"Let's talk." Shego announced and she guided Kim to her living room. They took place on Shego's black leather couch and an uncomfortable silence settled between them. _Come on Kim! One moment you're telling yourself that you have to talk and now you're sitting here in silence!_ Kim tried to motivate herself into talking but the nerves overwhelmed her courage. After several minutes she finally decided to go for it and she cleared her throat.

"About last night." Both Shego and Kim said simultaneously. They laughed a bit and Kim motioned for Shego to go first. _Okay it's all or nothing Shego._ She said to herself.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't go after you yesterday and I'm sorry that I left in such a hurry. I felt pathetic after that blubbering scene because I'm not used to it. I'm not a person who says sorry a lot so you'll only hear this once. I just couldn't control those damned emotions anymore. It just slipped away and before I knew it I was crying. The last time I actually really cried was over 10 years ago." Shego explained and Kim just nodded in understanding as she listened intently to Shego's story.

"This is just… impossible you know." She whispered as her gaze went to the ground.

"What is?" Kim asked gently.

"Me being in love, I don't know how to deal with it." Shego replied. She was surprised when she felt a hand underneath her chin; Kim forced her head up and looked at the woman.

"Love is complicated." She said simply.

"You can say that again." Shego muttered and Kim giggled lightly. "I just don't deserve it just like I don't deserve to be happy." That comment made Kim stop giggling and she looked at Shego with a hurt expression.

"That's not true! Everybody deserves to be happy and to be loved! How can you just accept the fact that you're not happy?! You deserve to be happy just as every other person and you know it." Kim said firm.

"I know but… being unhappy makes it hard to believe that I will be happy one day." Shego muttered sorrowful. Kim watched the woman and she felt her chest tighten uncomfortably.

"Why do you think that way?" Kim asked softly.

"Because I've never been happy in my entire life!" Shego shouted shocking Kim slightly with her sudden outburst.

"Shego." Kim said surprising said woman with the gentleness of her tone. "I've never been really happy, I've had times where I felt joy but I've never been really happy. I've never even really been in love. That is until I discovered something thanks to my conversation with Ron." Kim admitted.

"What conversation?" Shego questioned.

"I broke up with him." Kim answered simply and Shego felt warmth spread inside of her. "I didn't love him in the right way for a relationship." Shego nodded. It became quiet and they just looked at each other, waiting for someone to say something.

"Who do you love?" Kim asked suddenly and Shego pulled back a bit.

"I can't… "No.. tell me." Kim cut in.

"You told me that you tried to get rid of those feelings. That it seemed wrong and that you told yourself you weren't meant to be happy. You ARE meant to be happy so just tell me who you love." Kim said encouraging Shego.

"But it's wrong." Shego muttered.

"Since when do you care about right or wrong? I thought you were an evil bad ass?" Kim questioned knowing that she was hitting a nerve right now.

"I AM EVIL." Shego replied.

"Well you don't seem evil to me." Kim replied dry. Shego growled and got up, her plasma ignited.

"I AM EVIL!" She shouted again and Kim just looked at her with a dull look.

"Not convincing me." She muttered.

"ALRIGHT GOD DAMN IT! It's wrong and so am I! I fucking hated love and I have no fucking idea how to handle it! Then everything changed because you… YOU came into the picture! IT'S YOU! Alright!? It's YOU GOD DAMN IT!" Shego shouted her plasma flaring and heating up dangerously.

"It's you." She whispered sorrowful, her plasma died out and she slid to the ground. Kim sat down next to her and gathered her in her arms. She hugged Shego tightly and didn't plan on letting go anytime soon. All the pent up emotions and frustrations were coming out. Tears ran down Shego's cheeks after her outburst. She felt relieved, she had finally confessed what was on her heart. She ignored the fact that she was crying because she had never felt better. Kim just held her and let her cry. The tears Shego cried existed out happy tears, tears of joy. It had been like a burden carrying those feelings with her. Now she was finally freed from them and she thought it couldn't get any better.

"You see? You can be happy." Kim whispered happily into Shego's ear. The villain felt completely relaxed in Kim's embrace especially after her outburst.

"Now I can be happy as well." Kim said and Shego pulled back slightly and looked at her with a confused look.

"Why is that?" Shego questioned not understanding what Kim meant. Her ignorance actually amused Kim and she laughed a bit. She became quiet as she watched at Shego's questioning emerald eyes. She had to make a decision now whether to kiss her or to tell her what she felt. _Ah fuck it._ Kim thought with a smile on her face.

She leaned down and pressed her lips against Shego's dark lips. Her questioning emerald eyes widened in surprise and closed soon after that. Kim gently pushed her lips against Shego's, moving them against hers. Shego finally kissed back when the shock faded and she finally fully realized what was going on. The small sweet kiss lasted a bit longer then 10 seconds and was finally broken when Kim pulled back. Shego had been wrong when she thought it couldn't get any better. The happiness she felt now was 10 times more then the happiness she had felt only seconds ago. She stared at Kim in disbelief after their kiss had ended, expecting an explanation. Kim grinned when she noticed that and she had only one thing to say.

"That's what hit me."

_THE END_

* * *

_Well I hope you enjoyed this emotional rollercoaster ride! I just had to force myself not to end the story with:_

_**And they lived happily ever after XD** well I sure enjoyed writing this piece of emotion!_

_hope you enjoyed reading it!_

_Thanks!_


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